|
Liberty_Belle_76
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Hailey
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: San Antonio
Birthday: 4/21/1988
Interests: Reading, History, Politics and Political Theory, public speaking, philosophy, music...
Expertise: Being silly, talkative, serious, melancholy, introspective, hyper, wierd, or whatever mood strikes my fancy. I'm an expert at being moody.
Occupation: Living my Life
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
5/26/2005
 True
|
|
| i have a secret blog that no one knows the name of nor the web domain. i have it because i have much to write about that i can't because it's too connected to everyone i know. i've had it for a month, yet i still haven't written in it because i need to tell my story, but there's still no one to tell it to except a big empty world. it reminds me of that story by donald miller and how his biggest fear is loneliness because it's like being in space. cyber-space is no different.
~~~
on a separate note, i've been thinking a lot about the freedom we have through Christ. i think in my conservative, evangelical community we focus a lot on sin. we are always asking ourselves in everything we do where the sin is and trying to root it all out so that we can be sanctified and not be limited by the problems that our sins bring. the catholic church does this a lot, too. this is ironic because the evangelical community looks down on the catholic church for a number of reasons and penance is one of them. but they do something so similar as the catholic church practices a lifestyle that keeps them in bondage to their sin by having a more works-based faith.
these types of mentalities are so frustrating, after a time, and, as a result, the weight of sin is still heavy on your mind, heart, and soul. as i was sitting in the episcopal church that i have been going to, this idea of Christian freedom struck me. in some ways, it is detrimental to episcopalians that they do not have more of an internal struggle with their holy God, but the benefits were of great relief to me. i get so weighed down with knowing who God is and how imperfect i am before Him that i'm unable to move forward and serve Him because first, i've got to deal with this particular sin in my life because it will inhibit me too much. or on my campus, this would be a common thing: i can't date you because i've just got too much sin in my life, and i need to work on this first and be at a different place with God. it sounds good, right? but it absolutely paralyzes most people because really, we are human and we can never be without sin. the jews spent centuries following the law trying to live up to God's standard, and that absolutely overwhelmed them and their lives- but that was the purpose, their duty to God. we now have a different purpose- a purpose to minister to and love all people in a variety of ways and we are able to do this because we don't have to worry about our sin any more. we are free, FREE, to screw up and fail- even in our service to God- because Christ is our advocate and He has interceded for us. i can be overwhelmed by the hunger and famine, the abuse, the genocides, the needs of orphans all over the world, etc. because i am no longer at war with myself, i am no longer in bondage. Christ is my victory and He leads me to see what He has wept over. and i praise Him as i say, "O death, where is thy sting?" | | |
| One of my professors thinks I have enough talent to study poetry at Grad school. I was so thrilled that he thought that of me and so I wrote him a letter expressing that. I also told him how much I needed to hear that. He responded that I have several in my corner. The Lord, him, and Esther Chua (another one of my professors).
Praise the Lord for encouraging professors who believe in your dreams when even you can't. | | |
| [I will not give up. I will not give up. I will not give up.] It's been a hard week and a bad day. The weekend is almost here, though. [I had to wear my red heels today so I'd feel powerful in a conversation I had to have, but I just ended up collapsing into my chair and crying instead.] I'm glad that God believes in lost causes because I am one if I've ever seen one. [And I only have a few more months before I graduate and then I'm going to sit down and cry for thanksgiving and sorrow for at least a week. ] 
| | |
| I'm really happy these days. It's been a long time since I felt this peaceful, this happy, and this excited about my life and the things in it. A poem by me... ~~~~ there are melodies like your skin
very soft and achingly close that pull me
apart (and in) as my wholeness melts intoyou and-
collides against the great divides of your heart.
i break at your touch, your voice and eyes blend and hold-
me, with love, needing and longing, always.
mi estrellita, i clasp in my hand
to the first star i pray, no wishes on shooting stars.
the first i saw, the first i loved. please,
don't fall (away from me). | | |
| sparks (* and life begins—) rise flames , but then die. this is all. life = mean of * + loss + * + loss (*I am, *I am, *I am…) what I was — could be. I could be, I am…
I was waiting for— ( ) . 
Read more... | | |
|
